Fathered by God by John Eldredge

This Christian non-fiction book is a follow-up to Wild at Heart. Either can be read alone, but they will probably be more meaningful if read in order. In Wild at Heart, Eldredge posited the idea that all men face a common core question: “Do I have what it takes?” In Fathered by God, he lays out a path or journey – the God designed ideal journey – to help the boy, the man answer that question. He uses a series of similes to describe six stages of masculine development. These stages are not mutually exclusive. They overlap, but ideally, they should occur in order.

• The Beloved Son of the Father (this one, not a simile)
  
• Cowboy
• Warrior
• Lover
• King
• Sage

 

The Beloved Son:

For we must remember that above all else, boyhood is the time of Affirmation, the time when a boy comes to learn and learn deeply he is the beloved son.

 

A boy yearns to know that he is prized.

 

Life is hard. While he is the beloved son, a boy is largely shielded from this reality.

 

Cowboy:

This is what the heart of a boy longs for – daring adventures, battles, uncharted territory to be discovered.

 

Warrior:

It may take time, and require repeated provocation, but eventually a man must come to realize that there are certain things in life worth fighting for.

 

Take anything good, true, or beautiful upon this earth and ask yourself, “Can this be protected without a fight?”

 

Lover:

Down through its history the church has held up the good, the true, and the beautiful as a sort of trinity of virtues. As we think over the stages of the masculine journey, we find that the boy begins to understand Good as he learns right from wrong, and the warrior fights for what is True, but when a man comes to see that the Beautiful is the best of the three, then is the lover awakened.

 

King:

There are many offices a man might fulfill as a king – father of a household, manager of a department, pastor of a church, coach of a team, prime minister of a nation – but the heart required is the same.

 

Sage:

The sage, on the other hand, communes with God…

 

One last excerpt:

Our life is a quest, my brothers, arranged by our Father, for our initiation. There are gifts along the way to remind us that we are his beloved sons. Adventures to call for the cowboy, and battles to train the warrior. There is Beauty to awaken the lover, and power on behalf of others to prepare the king. A lifetime of experience from which the sage will speak. The masculine journey, traveled for millennia by men before us. And now, my brother, the trail calls us on.

 

All of these stages have physical and spiritual meaning. They are also the ideal. The author believes nearly all men, have been wounded along this journey causing them to stray from, or completely abandon the path. But that the Lord, the Heavenly Father, is ready and able to heal the wound, fill the gap, and guide the way back onto the path.

 

Eldredge is not always politically correct. He espouses some unpopular ideas: that life is hard, that we live in a fallen world, that the Universe is at war, that there is such a thing as masculinity. I won’t persuade anyone with this brief review, but I found his points well supported and logically applied.  He frequently cites popular movies and books as examples, which also makes it a fun read. I recommend this book wholeheartedly. It resonated deeply and powerfully with me.

 

The highest heavens belong to the Lord,

but the earth he has given to man. ~ Psalm 115:16

 

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