Burns
Lord, teach me to parent the children I have, not the kids I thought I would have.
God, I relinquish my children to your loving care and tender mercies.
Jim Burns’ purpose is to help parents navigate their changing and challenging role when their children become adults. He writes from a Christian worldview and addresses specific situations where the old parental authority approach is likely no longer appropriate or effective.
As difficult as it can be, sometimes it’s best to hold back on the parent-to-child dynamic and try to have more of an adult-to-adult experience.
He addresses situations such as failure to launch, financial irresponsibility, lifestyle choices inconsistent with the parents’ values, or the child forsaking the faith the parents thought they faithfully instilled.
It mainly instructs parents on finding their place in the “messy middle.”
The messy middle is where we find ourselves when we hold on to a solid moral base that we believe in while loving our kids and others who have chosen a different way.
In navigating the messy middle, the author asserts that we can and should…
Convey love without giving approval.
And
show love as your children suffer the natural outcome of their actions.
He cites his mother as an example of one the next generation trusted, respected, and listened to. He says she treated the younger generation with a sense of AWE: affection, warmth, and encouragement.
A few of the Biblical passages cited:
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:19
Where there is no vision, the people perish…Proverbs 29:18
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
This book can be beneficial to parents entering this stage of parenting. It is easy to read, well thought out, and logically organized.
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Now, this does sound like a wise and timely book. Mine are now between 18 and nudging 28.
ReplyDeleteSounds like it's that time.
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