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Welcome to The Once Lost Wanderer. The name is derived from two poems: Amazing Grace by reformed slave trader John Newton, and All That is Gold Does Not Glitter by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Pet Cemetery by Steven King (children's version) - Guest Review by my Grandchildren

The last time I read to Alathea, her older brother Andrew joined in mid-book, and expressed some disdain for the childish prattle of The Very Bad Bunny.

So, to satisfy his appetite for more mature subject matter, I recently read to both of them from Steven King’s Pet Cemetery. This started out well, to everyone’s satisfaction, as Alathea liked Church, the kitty, while Andrew felt it was a scholarly work, a campus novel perhaps, with Dr. Creed’s employment at an institution of higher learning.

However, unlike the unabridged adult version, wherein King takes many pages to benignly develop characters before things start getting scary, the children’s version turns ominous rather quickly. Like the children in the story, Andrew and Alathea were unnerved by the visit to the pet cemetery (their growing trepidation apparent in the picture) and outright traumatized by the macabre narrative, and gruesome illustrations that follow.

And that dear readers, is about as far as I’m willing to take the joke. 

APRIL FOOLS!

You may now express a sigh of relief. There is no children’s version of King’s horror classic, and I certainly wouldn’t read it to children if there was. (the misspelling of the title and King’s first name were intentional to avoid litigation.)

Feel free to gush about my adorable grandchildren.

Actual reviews by my Grandchildren:
The Very Bad Bunny reviewed by Alathea
He Bear, She Bear reviewed by Judah and Luke
Mr. Bliss reviewed by Andrew 
Sam and the Firefly reviewed by Judah
Are You My Mother reviewed by Andrew
And to Think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street reviewed by Luke
Bears on Wheels reviewed by Andrew 
Because a Little Bug Went Ka-Choo reviewed by Andrew 

6 comments:

  1. Lol, hilarious and addorable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. Good to know. I wasn't sure anyone would be fooled. :)

      Delete
  3. HAHA! This is the best April Fools blog post I've read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks...I was actually reading them something quite benign, but I thought the looks on their faces went perfectly with the joke. Cheers!

      Delete

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