Poetry that makes me want to break things - NOVA this week (February 5, 2016)

Observations from my weekly wanderings, usually in Northern Virginia (NOVA).

Yeah, this edition of NOVA is late, but it’s not like anyone pays for this service.

I’m no poet; well, actually I am, but I really don’t have the credentials to criticize another poets work. However, this particular bit of “art” that is flying around the airwaves is just making me crazy. If I don’t rant about it soon, I’m going to have to break something.

Bad rhymes in poetry make me want to break something. Before anyone points out the obvious – Yes, I know that poetry need not rhyme, often does not rhyme; I know.

But some poetry DOES rhyme, and when the intention of the poet was clearly a rhyme, but that rhyme is just terrible – it makes me want to break something.

For example:

I’m only one call away

I’ll be there to save the day

Superman got nothin on me

I’m only one call away

This would be forgivable if the performer did not attempt to rhyme the third line, but HE DOES! He sings it – Superman got nothin on ma-ay

And it makes me want to break something.

In fact, this is my new favorite to hate, a position previously held by The Doors: Light my Fire

Come on baby light my fire

Try to set the night on fire

Oooh, Kreiger is such an artist; he rhymed fire with fire!

**rolls eyes**   **and then breaks something**

Dishonorable mention to The Steve Miller Band: Take the Money and Run

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas

You know he knows just exactly what the facts is

He ain't gonna let those two escape justice

He makes his livin' off other people's taxes

All sorts of wrong. Should be either “fact is” or “facts are” Although, the subject-verb disagreement may have been a fortunate blunder. Otherwise, it might have come out:

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas

You know he knows just exactly what the facts are

He ain't gonna let those two escape justice

Gonna chase em down like a speedy track star

Or even worse:

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas

You know he knows just exactly what the fact is

He gonna make sure those two face justice

Right after he takes his daily laxative

But the real crime is not what Billie Jo and Bobbie Sue did – it’s rhyming “facts is” with “taxes”. I bet you can’t guess what it makes me want to do.

I feel better now. NOVA this week will now return to its regular schedule.